just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
