you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
