like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
