I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
