Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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