I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
