Fuck appropriateness.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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