i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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