Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and you said cock pushups were impossible
a search helicopter?!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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