I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
