Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
