Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
