Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
