Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
