it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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