non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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