I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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