i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
