He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
