apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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