I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
