thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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