He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
