You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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