WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
