she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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