Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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