GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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