I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
