so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
