Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
