you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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