I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think your dad took our porno
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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