her vagine was all disorganized.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
