just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
