Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
