You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
