WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i dont even know how to be here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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