God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
