So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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