so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
