Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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