Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
