Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
