First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
