You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
