You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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