Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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