Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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