We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
please come you make the beer taste better
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
