i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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