I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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