How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize