You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
