Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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