question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
