I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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