Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
