Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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