They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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