so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just cropdusted the office
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
