Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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