He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
