Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm really into asian looking animals
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
