Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
