Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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