My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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